15 December 2011

The Palestinians Are Fake or Why I Like Newt Gingrich

"1209 BC is the earliest recording of the name "Israel" as a place or group of people occupying a place. In contrast, the earliest recording of the name "Palestine" as a place comes from Herodotus' Histories, written 750 years later."

Last week Newt Gingrich ("Ingrinch" will be his joke name should he become president*, to join the ranks of Billy Boy, Capital Bush, and Zero) said in an interview with The Jewish Channel that the Palestinians are an "invented people." Gingrich, a student of history, is the first politician in living memory to have the balls to state the truth. Every single word in that one minute clip is historically accurate. There never were a Palestinian people. There never was a Palestinian state. Watch the clip below:

The British defeated the Ottoman Empire and as part of the peace treaty recieved the land that would become Israel, Jordan, and Iraq. This was a legitimate territorial acquisition as decided in 1923 by the Treaty of Lausanne. Prior to this time the area of greater Syria (the area in question) was ruled by the Ottoman Empire for five hundred years.

Prior to that the region was controlled by the Mamluks, Turkish slaves who revolted against their Egyptian rulers. Prior to that the Arab Caliphate conquered part of the Roman Empire. The Romans conquered the Jewish state of Judea around the turn of the calendar and kicked the Jews out of Jerusalem after the Bar Kokhba revolt in 136 AD, merging Judea with the province of Syria to create Syria-Palestine.

The Jews ran the place before the Romans came in, for about 100 years, after serving as clients under the Greeks who took over everything in 323 with Alexander the Great, who loved the Jews and was a great champion of Jewish culture. Alexander beat the Persians, who were in charge before. The Persians were also champions of the Jews, so much so that Cyrus the Great, who freed the Jews from Babylon, is the only Gentile/Goy to be named Messiah in the Bible.

The Babylonians/Chaldeans crushed the Jewish kingdom of Judah and ruled from 597 to 539 BC under Nebuchadnezzar II (not to be confused with Morpheus' ship, Nebuchadnezzar Mark III, No. 11). He's the one that made the famous Ishtar Gate, now in Berlin, which was one of the Seven Wonders of the World until the Colossus of Rhodes was built.

Judah was the southern kingdom, comprising two of the twelve tribes, Judah and Benjamin. The northern ten tribes were united as the kingdom of Israel. The two kingdoms used to be united, and also named Israel, but the northern tribes were wicked so the Assyrians conquered them and spread them out to the far corners of the world, thus creating the ten lost tribes. Some of those lost tribes may have been sent to Africa as DNA tests show, as well as Afghanistan, where Alexander (see above) encountered a small community of Jews living isolated from the world. The kingdom of Judah remained a client of the Assyrians.

The original, united, kingdom of Israel included territory on both sides of the Jordan river, comprising large parts of the modern states of Israel, Jordan, and Lebanon. Israel was established, probably, by Joshua. We can't know for certain. What we do know is that a stone inscription called the Merneptha Stele, located in the Cairo Museum (probably, if the Egyptian protesters didn't destroy it), carved probably in 1209 BC, mentions the kingdom of Israel as an independent entity that the Egyptians had their eye on. This document is the earliest recording of the name "Israel" as a place or group of people occupying a place. In contrast, the earliest recording of the name "Palestine" as a place comes from Herodotus' Histories, written 750 years later.

Before that the land was called Canaan. Major Canaanite cities such as Jericho and Hazor were destroyed in the 16th or 15th century BC, before the scholars place the Exodus, the so called "late" dating, which happened AFTER the Merneptha Stele records the existence of an established Israel. The conquest of Canaan couldn't have happened over night, and it couldn't have happened after Israel existed, so the late date of the Exodus is wrong. Can we place the Exodus around the time of the destruction of the Canaanite cities? Yes. The grain at the city of Jericho and other sites was burned along with the cities, not plundered, just as Joshua told his army to do. Any invading army would plunder the cities they sack, but Joshua told his men not to plunder the sites. The goods of the city belong to God, not the Israelites, so they have to burn, not plunder them. This is exactly what we find, and exactly what would be expected if Joshua destroyed the city, not some fictional people hundreds of years prior. The dates of the destruction of the cities is based on hard evidence, the dates of the Exodus is based on speculation from texts. Speculation is far from evidence. Speculation can be wrong, and the Exodus can be a 16th century event.

Before that? The Canaanites were some semi-nomadic pastoralist people living between the Egyptians and Hittites. They seem to have been there forever. Who were the Canaanites? No one knows. Abraham, the first Jew, came from Ur, near the Mesopotamian marshes, and died in Canaan. Canaan became his adopted home. His descendents lived in Canaan. The Canaanites and the descendents of Abraham comingled and became one, save for the difference of one group being monotheists. The Israelites were Canaanites when the Egyptians enslaved them. They returned to Canaan after the Exodus as it was their home. Why the destruction of Canaanite cities if they were kin? Probably to route out all the non-believers. It was a revolution, a civil war; one that the Israelites won.

What about the modern day Palestinians? Where do they fit in? Well, the British decieded to give the land of Israel to the Jews and the land of Jordan to the Arabs, but the Arabs want everything "from the river to the sea" and refuse to except their lot. Both the Jordanians and the Egyptians took "Palestinian" refugees after the 1967 Six-Day War. For decades the Jordanians and Egyptians did nothing. They didn't give the Palestinians their own state. When Israel gave back Jordanian and Egyptian land the Palestinians rushed back and demanded everything "from the river to the sea." The Egyptians and Jordanians bitched about how the Israelis won't give the Palestinians what they themselves would not give. The Arabs are hypocrites and liars. They hated the Jews since the Jews wouldn't accept Muhammad as a prophet. The Arabs took Syria-Palestine from the Romans and told the Jews to submit, but the Jews wouldn't. Jewish belief says that there have been no prophets since Malachi. They weren't about to accept that another prophet arose in the centuries since so the Arabs got pissed off and decided to hate the Jews forever.

There you have it, the history of the land of Israel going back to before the bronze age as well as the history of antisemitism. Newt Gingrich is the only candidate with balls enough to acknowledge this history, and that's why I support him.

*You don't get honoured with a joke name until you're elected.

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