16 September 2018

The Mist

The Mist is a movie made about a book written by Steven King, who likes to write stories with really stupid endings because art, or something. The Mist is one of the most unintentionally funny movies of all time. The entire thing is 120 minutes leading up to a single joke.

Here's the ten second synopsis: People are trapped inside a store when the town is engulfed in a mist that contains tentacle monsters/Japanese porn stars. One woman wants to leave the store to go find her kids, but this guy who looks like Sean Nelson without glasses refuses to go with her. He's the protagonist. Some woman with a bowl cut becomes a cult leader who demands human sacrifices because reasons. The guy kills the cult leader and feeds her to the monsters.

Then comes the ending, which is pure comedy gold. The guy escapes from the store with his son and three old people, they drive all day until the car runs out of gas. It looks like the mist goes on forever, so he kills his son and the old people and runs out of bullets. Two seconds later the entire US Army comes by and clears out the mist.

AND they come in from behind him, meaning the entire US Army was just yards behind the car the whole time as it drove through the mist.

To rub it in his face even more the woman who escaped the store at the beginning of the movie to find her kids is one of the survivors. She spent the entire movie out in the mist and nothing bad happened to her or her kids.

What's more the guy is seriously OVERACTING!!!!111

Here's the ending, in case you haven't seen it.